NOT IN THE BOOK

When we first embarked on the glorious journey of homeownership, my husband and I did what any self-respecting first-time homebuyer would do. We went out and bought "Home Buying for Dummies." And then SOME OF US actually read it.

I have to say it was a pretty useful book, for the most part. Though it showed its age (last updated two years ago) in parts. Like the part where it talks about the existence of a seller's market. BWA ha ha ha ha. That's rich. But there have been a few parts of the home-buying process that we feel were not adequately covered in the book.

For example: The book gives all sorts of advice about how to judge not only the house but also the neighborhood for resale value, livability, etc. You know, factors like whether people mow their lawns and otherwise seem to take care of their homes, are the nearby schools okay, does the neighborhood back up to a landfill, that kind of thing. But conspicuously absent from these factors was this: Does the house next door to the one you're considering have an enormous Confederate flag flying from the front porch?

Yeah, that happened. We toured a nice house not too far out of town. Nice layout, awesome deck, fenced yard, well maintained, and in an otherwise lovely neighborhood. But we couldn't help but notice, upon pulling into the driveway, that football-field sized stars and bars next door. Our realtor gamely tried to explain that while, yes, the presence of such a flag (and it was enormous, truly, like car-dealership flag enormous) could indicate the dwelling of a Klan leader, it could also be simply the home -- quite well-maintained, I should add -- of a misguided ol' Southern boy.

True, I suppose. But we opted to take a pass, anyway. Because we like to have people of all stripes as friends, and we enjoy not having them shot at when they pull into our driveway.

But I realize now perhaps I was focusing too much on the negative. I overlooked the usefulness of such a landmark for giving directions. "We're right next door to the house with the Confederate flag you can see from space," I could tell the 911 operator after getting stabbed when my neighbor finds out I do yoga. SO much faster than giving directions.

So, "Home Buying for Dummies," may I respectfully request an updated edition? While you're changing EVERYTHING in the book to reflect the current market (I think you can safely take all that seller's market stuff out, friends), why not add a bit about how massive Confederate flags affect home values? News I can use, please.

Comments

[Carlton Swift]

Ah yes. We currently live in the era of the cease-fire in The War of Northern Aggression.

The South, like the yeast-filled doughy region it is, will rise again!

[Janna]

That needs to be in the special Southern edition, honey-darlin-sugar. We don't see Confederate flags so much around these parts.

And yeah, totally, to the seller's-market crap. Outdated much?

[Mark]

I hate to be such a copy editor and all, but bein' a Southern girl, you *do* know the difference between the Confederate Battle Flag and the Stars and Bars... right?

And, uh, you seriously ought to think about killing that contract. First, because you can probably get a significantly better interest rate today than you could, oh, two days ago. And there's another reason, but I think I've been enough of a buzzkill already.

[stacy]

I'm embarrassed (I think) to admit I did NOT know there was a difference, but now I do.

Just to clarify, this is NOT the house we're buying. Our neighbors there seem refreshingly racist-flag free.

Yeah, rotten timing on the bailout, huh? We got a pretty OK rate to begin with, though, so I'm not sweating it too much. I am e-mailing the loan dude, though, just to see what he says about the whole thing. Hopefully not: "HA HA HA HA, sucker."

[Mark]

Actually, I was thinking rotten timing on the buyouts. I hope and pray you don't get hosed. But the bailout thing, that actually could help you. Your loan dude might very well cut you an extra quarter-point, maybe even half.