Nuggets of Gold!

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO WREAK ... WE VOTE AGAINST YOU

My friend Karen knows where the WMDs are!

They're in the White House, duh.

If by "WMDs" you mean "Wreakers of Mass Distortion," that is ...

She made that phrase up, true story. And I thought it was so brilliant that now I am putting it on my blog. Which, of course, is read by MILLIONS. So I'm sure it'll catch on. And Kerry will use the phrase in his convention speech Thursday night, you watch!

Karen rules.

CREEPY JACKALOPE EYE

I have noticed a weird phenomenon wherein some people feel the best way to get another person's attention is to stare at the target until he or she is uncomfortable enough to acknowledge them.

In English: There's this woman I work with who, when she needs me to give her a page to do, comes over to my desk, stands behind my chair, and stares at me until *I* say something to her. "Yes, do you need something? Can I help you???" Other people, by contrast, when they need a page, come over to my desk and say something like "Hey, Stacy. How's it going? Hey, do you have a page you need me to do?" Much less creepy. Yesterday the creepy woman stood behind my chair for so long, and I was so busy, that I didn't know she was there until her overwhelming perfume swept over me, and then I jerk my head around and BAM! there she is, about five inches away from me, if that. Yeeck.

It occured to me that she is not the only person whom I've noticed doing this. There were folks who did that at my last job, too. Instead of coming up to my desk and just asking me their question, they just wait and stare. I guess they're maybe being polite, waiting until it's convenient for me to acknowledge them. But in my line of work, I mean, come on. That's just dumb. It's NEVER convenient for me to acknowledge anyone, but of course I'm glad, most times, to break from what I'm doing and address the person. So why creep me out with the staring???? And why make me approach you, when it's you who needs something? Seems silly. And dammit it creeps me out.

Ha, I'm realizing that this sounds like the rant of an assy sales clerk. Pretend I work at the Gap, and I'm that clerk everyone hates because they just continue their conversation with their co-worker while you stand at the register feeling invisible. And I'm bitching that these dumb customers just keep staring at me, why should I have to acknowledge them? Ha ha.

But I'm not a sales clerk, and I work with co-workers, not with customers, so I reserve and celebrate my creeped-outness.

Anyone else encounter people like this, the creepy starers? Or is my sometime suspicion that I am surrounded by freaks actually true?

'I'VE GOT ISSUES ... YEAH'

Ah, summertiiiiiiiiiime, and the spending too much money on concert tickets and CDs is eeeeeeeasy.

Went to a Lyle Lovett show last week, snagged a good seat (easy to do if you go alone, I found) and had me a good time. I was a little sad to see my first Lyle show without his bass player, Viktor Krauss. Viktor, in addition to spelling his name super-cool, is the brother of Alison Krauss and has co-written some of my favorite songs with her and with Lyle. Seems he's pursuing a solo career, so that explains the not touring with Lyle. I guess. Harrumph. I didn't dig the new bass player as much, but that could be me popping into fourth-grader mode, stubbornly refusing to like the substitute teacher solely because she's not the real teacher. Anyway, the show was good, as always, and Lyle was all charming and funny as usual. He seemed especially witty this time, and I always admire how smoothly he can deal with the unexpected -- meeting a drunk request-shouter with a funny comment (never mean!), continuing to sing and then making a funny after some sound screw-up made a huge loud noise in the middle of a song. That's professional musicianship for you, my friends.

I think I sniffed out the stage door after the show, and I'd bought a Lyle poster, so I thought I'd go have Lyle sign it. Sounds nice and brave, doesn't it? But really what happened was I stood with some other people by the door for maybe two minutes, then chickened out and ran away. One day I'd like to meet Lyle, but I just don't think I'm worthy yet.

Last night was an outdoor Live on Penn concert, nice big stage with the Capitol as a backdrop. The Old 97's were there and played a rockin' show, complete with several new songs from their new album, which comes out later this month. I tried -- and am still trying -- to ignore the fact that the Old 97's were secondary to the headliner: Eve 6. There is not justice in this world, and I know that. But it still hurts to be confronted with it so brutally.

That's it for shows for the near future, but August brings lots of options, and the painful process of picking which shows you will see, and which you must skip. Oh, the pain!

HAIL TO THE THIEF

Just saw "Fahrenheit 9/11." Wow. Go see it. Go see it now. Or at least before the election. Please.

Please.

Go.

IT IS RISEN

Ok, coast is clear. It is too late for jinxing. My iPod songs have been successfully extracted from Miss Ruthie back to my computer, and thus to iTunes, where the whole magical cycle can begin again. Hooray!

Now, Carlton (and Larry, who also offered the same advice and also some nice sympathetic cooing), you get your shout-out. Thanks for showing me that you shouldn't always believe what you read on the Apple Web site (those jerkfaces gave me fits of despair by telling me iTunes-to-iPod is strictly a one-way street, LIARS!). Versiontracker.com is where I got the software that helped me out, and another shout-out to a guy named Jared, who I guess works for the software company who held my hand (over e-mail) and helped me figure out some goddam box to check in some menu somewhere that, unchecked, was gumming up the works and making me fret. Anyway, versiontracker.com is great fun, offering all sorts of random little software that improves your life in ways such as putting the entire King James version of the Bible on your iPod, or giving you a 3D soccer game for your desktop, or making nerdy eyes light up with crazy PhotoShop filters. W00t!

Now that the Great iPod Crisis of 2004 is averted, I can concentrate on more important things. Like killing hookers in Grand Theft Auto III. Gotta run ...