Nuggets of Gold!

I (HEART) CESAR

Is anyone as in love with "The Dog Whisperer" TV show as I am?

To put a finer point on it, is anyone as in love with "The Dog Whisperer" as I am who, like me, doesn't even have a dog?

I think what I like about that show, besides Cesar's marvelous accent, is fantasizing about how I could use his techniques in my own, dog-free life. When the husband gets wound up it's fun to try the Cesar "cobra-strike" on him -- works, too! (Don't worry, folks, he does it to me, too.) And I wish I could put my bag of Doritos on the floor of the office and, when co-workers try to snatch it, step calmly between it and them and announce "This bag is not belong to you!" and watch them slink away. I also wish a viable solution to people who don't play well with others was to shove them in a pack and let the pack get them sorted out.

I like to think that all this "The Dog Whisperer" watching means that when I do have a dog one day, it will be supremely well-behaved. But unfortunately I know too well that when that day comes, I'll be the  dog owner who buys the dog frilly dresses (Can't be helped -- I live in Japan! It's the law!) and lets it eat food off my dinner plate and wonders why the dog is completely insane.

OFFICE SHENANIGANS

I'm in the office, and I'm looking out the window. Usually I get nothing for my trouble but a glance at squatty concrete Tokyo buildings and an update on whether it's raining.

But today? Today is a treasure.

For today, my friends, I spy two fellow drudges in a Japanese office building across the street having what appears to be a dance party. At first I thought it was calistenics, which is pretty normal for office workers here. But that usually happens in the morning, and it's evening now. And while they were moving in sync a moment ago, now there are two very distinct movements happening. One worker -- a woman, I think -- is running around the desks, while the other, a man, is pumping his arms up and down according to some rhythm.

Oh! Now they're shadowboxing!

And now ... the woman has sat down, or maybe left the room. But the guy is still going -- back to arm pumping, though now it's sort of front to back. Oh, and he's jumping, too. Another man has just walked in, but dancing guy seems unperturbed. Now he appears to be doing sumo moves. Dang, I'm starting to feel bad just sitting here ... NOT dancing.

I would make some comment on how weird this is, but you have to keep things in perspective. Just yesterday, in a different building across the street, this one much closer to my office -- maybe just 60 feet away from the window -- there was a naked guy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some movement  on a tiny third-floor balcony, maybe 3 feet square, on that building. What I thought was a shirtless guy was standing there. Not all that strange, since folks go out on that balcony to smoke every now and again. But they're usually wearing clothing. Not this guy. And he wasn't smoking, either. I'm not sure what he was doing, actually. We were all staring at him, trying to guess, but no one had any good ideas. We eventually just chalked it up to this being Tokyo, and Tokyo being weird, and we went back to work.

UPDATE: After some reflection, and after watching the guy (the clothed one) across the street dance for another solid hour, I realize he might be doing tae bo. Which is somewhat of a letdown. I think there need to be more dance parties in the workplace.

UNBEATABLE DEAL

Last year, after one lost corporate/government laptop pecadillo or another, I was encouraged to sign up for free credit monitoring. So, in a rare show of financial responsibility, I did. But that free year is coming to a close, and I got a letter from Equifax saying I should sign up for another round, but this time pay for it.

To reward my loyalty and encourage my continued patronage, they're tempting me with this INCREDIBLY generous offer (click to enlarge image):

The red underline is mine, but the bold-faced type is from Equifax. And I mean, yeah, that's a discount to brag about. Thanks, guys!