Nuggets of Gold!

AN OPEN LETTER TO NORTH CAROLINA BARBECUE

Dear (eastern) North Carolina barbecue:

You know what? I give up. I won't claim that I have made an exhaustive survey of your offerings, but I've given you a decent try, at a variety of places.

And the fact is, you suck everywhere. You're incredibly salty, and your sauce is runny. You're chopped too finely, rendering you into a mush at most places. I really have nothing good to say about you at all. You are, I have concluded, a waste of perfectly good pork.

Ever the optimist, I will continue to look for examples of the good you have to offer -- I have to believe there's good in you somewhere -- but I will brace for continued disappointment. And I will have to be that obnoxious person who goes around telling everyone that the only good barbecue on this large earth is found in Georgia and Alabama. Don't look at me like that. It's true, and anyhow it's you who forces me to say that. Prove me wrong, and I'll gladly shut up.

I'll be waiting.

Sincerely yours,
Stacy

P.S. Thank you, at least, for being pork based. Beef brisket is a wonderful thing, it's just not barbecue.

HOME SWEET HOME

Fast-forward two months or so, and we're homeowners! It's every bit as great, and as annoying, as everyone says. It's nice to have something of your own (even if it is technically the bank's until 30 years from now), and you find yourself wanting to do stuff to make it nice. Like painting the bathroom. Or sweeping leaves off the driveway. Or digging up ugly shrubbery so you can plant less ugly shrubbery. Yay!

But of course, the downside is you have to deal with stuff when it breaks, and not just by calling the landlord. You have to call somebody, then wait for somebody, and then PAY somebody, all of which sucks. Luckily, not too much has broken so far at Casa de Chandler. But we had a flurry of "dealing with stuff" this week. Yesterday we had a dead tree taken out of our back woods. It was painful to part with the $525, but less painful than eventually (and probably not too long from now) watching it fall over and crush us or our neighbors to death. Also? It was awesome to watch a crew of five burly men take that sucker down. Especially when the top of the tree broke off unexpectedly and they all had to run for their lives. Woo!

Today was the day to deal with broken stuff. First, the stove, which had one burner that would click off immediately after you turned it on, and another that got only lukewarm at most. The repairman came right away, informed me that the knobs had been put in the wrong place (presumably when the seller cleaned it), put the knobs in the right place, and charged me $60. Awesome. Later a guy is coming to fix the not-working furnace, and I can't wait for him to tell me that it's not plugged in or something. Live and learn. And pay a lot.