It occurs to me that one way to smooth my transition into life as a stay-at-home mom might be to meet other moms in my situation. So we can bond over stuff like hurty boobs and projectile poop and swap advice about how not to stick your head in the oven (does that even work?).
So I've been searching the Internets for SAHM groups in the area. There are tons, but the problem is they all seem to suck. How do I know, without even attending a meeting or talking to group members? I'll tell you. They ALL use comic sans on their web pages. Which tells me all I need to know.
I'm not asking for much. People with pulses. A certain level of tolerance for bad words spoken in relation to baby matters. A lack of squeamishness about detailed descriptions of bodily fluids. And, OK, yes, a level of intelligence high enough to pick a font -- any font -- other than comic sans. Also? Don't tell me your group likes to have a good time, and then tell me that idea of a good time includes slumber parties and "mommy makeovers." I am not 12. I am well over 21, in fact, and I would like a goddamn margarita.
You made me laugh...out loud. :)
Posted by: amy boyd | August 18, 2010 at 08:32 PM
Thanks, Amy! Since you're in the same boat, maybe you and I should go out for a goddamn margarita sometime, eh?
Posted by: Stacy | August 18, 2010 at 08:40 PM
Very funny ... and kind of sad. If you don't find anybody, at least pick up a copy of Anne Lammott's "operating instructions." It's laced with profanity and honesty. I think you're ready for it!
Posted by: Josee | August 19, 2010 at 10:22 PM
Sounds like you should start your own mommy group and call it "Margarita Mommies". Bet your group would be the most popular in the area. Hint: When your setting up your webpage to talk about your new group- don't use comic sans... I hear some folks don't care much for that.
LOL :-)
Posted by: Amy K. | August 22, 2010 at 10:01 PM
It didn't take me very long at all in this SAHM-gig to realize that I had to have contact with other adults on a regular basis. Babies are beautiful. . .and boring. Try your local chapter of the International MOMs Club; that's the group I joined here. We are going out for drinks (i.e. a goddamn margarita) tonight.
Just know that the people in charge of creating websites are SAHMs who took on the job out of the goodness of their hearts and likely have never designed a business card, much less a website. So don't hold their font choice against them. However, if they really don't drink in their spare time, THAT'S cause for rejection. ;-)
Posted by: Meghan | August 25, 2010 at 06:59 PM
Try your public library. Many of them have preschool, toddler, and, yes, baby storytimes. Most of the moms (and grandmoms) who bring their kids here take time to chat after storytime is finished. I have seen bonds of friendship that stay in place even after the kids get to be a sizable age and, for some, even if one of them moves away.
Many libraries are suffering cutbacks during these hard times, but you live in a large area and should be able to find something you like. The library attracts a mix of people; so, maybe you can link up with someone or even another group there.
Oh, and the other good thing--it's free!
Good luck.
Posted by: Lanelle | September 10, 2010 at 03:26 PM
Fuck Comic Sans. There is no excuse for it. Period. I wish you and my friend Lisa had had your children (and lived in the same city) at the same time. As soon as her husband was comfortable being alone with the baby for more than a few minutes, she walked straight into the bar where we always met for happy hour, ordered a margarita, and said TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT BABIES.
Posted by: Sarah | October 14, 2010 at 09:06 AM